One step at a time
Spiral Shower 6.20.22
What does it mean to take things one step at a time?
This is a saying I’ve been told pretty often in my life. Supposedly, because I struggle to do this. But what other way is there to walk if not step by step? Is it possible to leap, and if so, why walk if you can jump?
For those of you who don’t know, I’ve been regularly seeing a Jungian Analyst for a couple of months now. Rather than going the traditional therapy route, I wanted to seek guidance from someone who could look at my hangups through a Jungian lens. In sessions with a Jungian analyst, we unpack dreams to better understand messages sent by the unconscious. Not only has it been helpful to talk with someone, but I also get to learn more about Jungian psychology in the process.
I recently had a dream where I was on a family vacation and was late for dinner. We were at a beach resort and it was Halloween, I needed to run up to my hotel room to grab something to throw together that would work as a costume. I went to the elevator and I realized that the floor to my room was not an option to select.
I didn’t panic.
I just selected the number that was the closest to my room number and hoped that when I got off I’d be able to make sense of things.
Then, what happened next is that the elevator quickly jumped up 500 floors. I felt whiplash and I could smell a burning smell. It didn’t look good.
Dream me was like “Ya know what? I think I’m about to die. I don’t want to die. Let’s try this again.” So I lucid-dreamed by rewinding back to where I started — before I took the elevator.
I took a deep breath, and took the stairs instead.
I remember feeling frustrated when I was taking the steps. “When am I going to get there? I am already late?” But I knew I didn’t have an alternative.
My Jungian Analyst told me that it was likely my unconscious was trying to let me know to take things one step at a time. She said that intuitive types can have a preference for wanting to skip steps, or perhaps may have the ability to perceive the outcome as an idea before experiencing it physically.
I am not surprised that my psyche is telling me to take things one step at a time. However, it is a bit frustrating to me. As I do not often know what that means, or what it looks like. It is not that I consciously feel like I want to refuse the stairs. It’s that I often don’t know where the stairs are. Or, I may feel like I don’t have the time to take them.
I think that it was interesting that she mentioned intuitive types. Initially, I had wondered if the elevator dream was related to me overdoing my Ni lately to the point where I may be mentally fried. My analyst has ENFP preferences, and she mentioned that both extroverted and introverted intuition can be prone to skip steps. To which I am like — “Okay. I get it. I need to not skip steps. However, what is the next step? What even is “a step” as a concept? How slow must I actually go? Define “step”??? What does that actually look like in practice?”
I don’t have the answer to any of these questions. But this has lead me to reflect on this concept in a bigger way. Even during my analysis, the analyst will often remind me to slow down and sit with the dream step by step. I will jump to the pattern I see: “I dreamed this during a week where I was going through xyz, which reminded me of this theme in the dream, so I think the lesson might bet that I need to xyz…”
I remember being in school and learning about how rain works, the cycle of evaporation and condensation, etc. I raised my hand and ask, “What about snow? Is that the same thing just when it’s cold outside?”
I remember my teacher saying, “Not now, Meghan. We will get to that soon?” I was unable to listen to the rest of the lecture because I was wondering about snow! I remember thinking that if she would have at least given me a clue about snow, it would be easier for me to learn about rain.
It is common for intuitive types to prefer to learn by juggling multiple ideas at once. However, our preference for putting together ideas can keep us from listening to the story of life. In my case with my teacher, I was unable to listen to anything to do with rain because I was too caught up wondering about snow.
Metaphorically, I do this in my daily life all the time. I am always wondering about snow.
Much like a snowy forest, we don’t always have our path lined out for us step by step. We have to make our footprints ourselves. Especially when we are going someplace that we have never gone before. Especially if we are set on following our destiny.
We can look to see where others have gone before us. But to do so would mean to copy another’s steps, rather than giving ourselves the experience of making our own mark.
Sometimes the best steps are not planned. For example, I had no idea that I was going to somehow connect my example story about snow to a larger metaphor about footsteps until just now when I did it. I am now thinking a lot about footprints and realizing… that there are no rules when it comes to taking things step by step. Duh!
Something about the idea of “step by step” feels methodical, structured, consistent, and planned to me. Because of that, I feel like I have to be logical about what each step “means.” But I am not so sure that it feels that way in the moment. Taking a step often feels chaotic, like a leap of faith.
However, when you are on the path of individuation — when you’re manifesting your destiny, your truest purpose, or whatever you want to call it — there will obviously be twists and turns. It is possible that any step worth making will only make sense in hindsight.
Remember: You are a pioneer when it comes to your own path.
I want to leave you with a song from Frozen II. When I watched this movie with my ESFJ sister, she was telling me how much this scene with the character Anna (who I type as ESFJ) meant to her. I began to draw connections between the concept of “take the next step” and the wisdom of introverted sensing (Si).
I remember my sister telling me that she never had the kind of surefire vision that an introverted intuitive type might have, so she instead has to trust herself to take the next right step day after day. But on the contrary, I can often take my “vision” for granted to the extent that I don’t know how to take the next step whenever my path is unclear.
This grief has a gravity, it pulls me down
But a tiny voice whispers in my mind
You are lost, hope is gone
But you must go on
And do the next right thing
You don’t need to know the how before you take the next right step. In fact, it is often in those moments of darkness when making a decision is the most powerful. That’s when you have nothing but faith and instinct to lean on.
Just do the next right thing
Take a step, step again
It is all that I can to do
The next right thing
I won't look too far ahead
It's too much for me to take
But break it down to this next breath, this next step
This next choice is one that I can make
So I'll walk through this night
Stumbling blindly toward the light
And do the next right thing
Taking the next step is a way to access your personal power. Also, sometimes there is no “right” answer. Or maybe there are more than one answers that could potentially feel “right.” Often, all that matters is that you make one.
I think that sensing types are used to experiencing life through the 5 senses before they begin to see the patterns. That doesn’t mean that they don’t also struggle with taking things one step at a time or carving their own path. I just think that often, intuitive types can get cocky and expect ourselves to know the pattern before we even begin.
So to my fellow intuitive types (especially, you)…
Remember, you don’t always have to have everything figured out before you decide to move forth and experience life. I think it is about developing the trust in yourself that you can figure life out when it comes. It’s about developing trust in your instincts — so you can listen to them when you’re not sure what to do or where you are going.
